Hello, My Name is......

I have not had a beer since Sunday.  I decided to jump on board the "14 Days on the Wagon" challenge, where people who are not alcoholics, give up casual drinking for 2 weeks.  This gives them a peek into how it would be to be in recovery.  I want to stop relying on beer to calm me down, it's a habit that is mostly psychological.  I thought I was a big raging alcoholic, but it just seems that I will over drink anything once I start and I drink fast, so that's an issue.  1 beer can suddenly be 5 or 6, yes.  I am not proud of the amount of beer I drink, unless I am in a beer drinking throw down with a non-Wisconsiner, so I decided to do something about it.

I have three vices and that's too many.  Beer is number one, and cigarettes are number 2.  I have noticed that I don not smoke as frequently now that I don't have beer at night.  I don't smoke during the day unless I get a phone call, or someone stops by who is a smoker, or I need to walk away to clear my head and get ideas, or I need to walk away and clear my head or I will say something I regret, or I am up too late and want to fall asleep, or I am out with people who smoke, but that's it!  No problem!  I tried teh e-cigarette, two or three different brands and found that both were way harsher on the throat than real cigs, they also burn my lips...not cool.

Lately my throat has been very sore and very sick.  I attribute it to the culprits above, and I can't have it.  My voice is literally my money.  Literally, almost everything I do to make money (save the writing) involves my ability to speak.  These include; teaching yoga, performing hypnosis, recording mp3s, acting, public speaking, educating....  I had to stop and think, what is more important all that stuff, or beer?

So, maybe I don't get drunk every night, and when I do it is by accident, but the fact that it happens at all is too much for me anymore.  Instead of dumping alcohol on my delicate vocal chords, I am nurturing them with delicious healing teas that will tonify and support them.

Sometimes things that aren't a big thing when they begin, become a big thing when they become a mindless habit.  I thought it would be much more difficult, it is stupidly easy.  I stocked up on seltzer water in cans (4/$10 per 12 pack at Fry's) because part of the whole deal is hearing that can crack open.  This one little thing satisfies so many of my senses.  That sound means, it is time to relax, you are done working for the day.  The cold bubbles, the feel of the can on my lips, and the bitter flavor of the water quell the other physical desires and it is as thought I am having a cold, refreshing Natty Light.  We always referred to it as beer-flavored water.

I am really surprised I haven't caved in already.  It is usually my pattern to set a goal and immediately "change" it.  I am a rebel rebel, but now it is ME that really needs my attention.  Before it's too late.

Time to grow up!  These habits no longer serve me.  I am a different person entirely.