Prologue

There's a full moon tonight and I am feeling the energy in a very nice way.  Feeling the flow of the Universe in me, I feel the Creator living in me.  I have wanted to write a book for a very long time.  About twelve years, since my diagnosis of AML on September 11, 2001.  That day was epic.  It changed the world for everybody.  I remember being in my hospital bed awake and ready for breakfast.  The morning nurse came in and told me that an airplane had just hit one of the towers.  he turned on my TV and took my vitals.  Together we watched as the second tower was hit by a plane. 

I was in the hospital because I hadn't been feeling well.  I had just had my son almost two months earlier, and I was breast feeding, and he was breach and born Caesarian after their attempt to flip him over failed.  So, I was tired and I had fevers, but only in the afternoon.  I like to chronicle things, and since I was home with the baby all day fevers were something to do.  I would take my temperature every 5-10 minutes, and then graph the information.  It was similar to the chart I kept of Daemons sleep/eat/poop/pee schedule.  I like numbers very much, this was a game. Until it got painfully serious. 

4 Reasons I Love Facebook

1. I feel like I am hanging out with people even though I am at home doing housework.  I like to be by myself.  Face book gives me as much interaction as I want with the outside world.  I can see what people are doing and even get involved, or do nothing at all.  I can have a conversation if I want to, but I don't feel obligated too, the way I would with a phone call, or face-to-face visit.  I am an anti-social socialite who prefers pictures and posts and real life privacy and peace.

2.  I am friends with the people who intimidated the shit out of me in High School because of their effortless coolness.  Now, we are all married with kids and shit, so all that in the past and we can relate as adults.  It's weird thinking back to how people affected my image of self-worth back then, people who had no idea they wielded such power in my perception of self.  The boys I lived and died for who could make or break my day, who I looked forward to seeing, who I was able to see because I was safely in the friend zone.  Now, I am so pleased when I see they are doing well, or when I can join in with the once popular girls who are now all just like me.  It's a great equalizer.

3.  I can stalk people.  Nuff said.

4.  I can find out about events in my friends' lives and give advice, or get advice when I need it.  There have been many days when I felt off-kilter and a post to the Old FB would get people chiming in and guiding me.  Willing to help out.  I delete these posts when the issue resolves because I like to keep my Facebook clean like my mind.  Moving on!

Forced Writing

It's that time again, forced writing as exercise for the writer thing and the brain thing and it's early, but I've been up for about an hour and a half already and the sun is finally waking up and I will exercise this body of mine that I am getting in shape for the next big decade of my Life.  I will be forty in a little over half a year and I want to rock that shit.  Checklist: Non-Smoker, tea-totaller, some who gets a good night's sleep, healthy strong body, good eyesight and hearing, awesome mental attitude, direction and accomplishment.  Sounds great!  I am going to break up with my 30's slowly, I don't wan to hurt their feelings.  I enjoyed our years together and learned a lot.  Now, I embrace my future with my 40's.  Exciting times!  Time to go see the sunrise!

Moody Musings

I am very susceptible to shiny objects and programming.  My mind will instantly accept something as true and want it, the standard consumer brain.  Then, after a short while, whether or not I have acquired said thing, I realized it is worthless, a scam, a waste of my money, broken, etc.  Then, I turn on the thing and everyone involved with the thing's existence, or even anyone stupid enough to want one--gasp!  Judgment rolls down my nose, over my lips and into my mouth where I spit and swallow some.  The same with information.  I have tried every diet in existence and been its greatest proponent whilst it was my savior.  Later, learning my ways may have been unhealthy, or I was duped by advertising believing that this pill, THIS pill was really the super magic pill that would actually let me eat the garbage I loved, and drop pound after pound without exercise or danger of ant sort.  Guess what I hate the mutherfluffing diets and diet pills now too.

I realize this is ridiculous.  I can not love something while not hating it.  I can not agree with it and still respect its right to exist.  Can't I?  For so many years my identity was based on my ability to be super nasty in my criticism.  Famous for it, respect even, me and my group of nasty judgmental brilliant friends.  Oscar Wilde snappy.  Hipsters before hipsters and Mods after mods, with a dash of Southern Gay.  :)  I remember that and I am smiling, is that wrong?  I miss being a bitch sometimes.  Most of the people I know now have no idea that was my way, they would be appalled!

So I need something to fill the void left by having friends and there is all of this self-help stuff around.  I don't need help, mind you, I seek knowledge.  I want to know who I am and why I do the things I do so that I can do the things I really want to do.  Selfish.  I am addicted to tuning up and rooting out.  I am thrilled by every recalled memory that is a piece of the puzzle of me.  I love my mind, I am determined to keep digging things up until I find my purpose in this life.  I know it's in there. 

Submitted!

I just wrote my first article for online publication.  I'd love to share it with you here and now, but one of the rules is that the article cannot be published anywhere else.  Ergo, I cannot self-publish.  I will put up a link when it is accepted, or will post it in full if it is not. 

It was difficult to start the article because once it was finally on paper it was real, and not a bunch of amorphous ideas in my brain. Once it was finished (or paused) I felt a sense of relief.  Writing is like giving birth, the ideas gestate over time until they are born.  It is exhausting work. 

I like the idea of writing more short articles until I have enough material for a book.  I can also incorporate video blogs to get a larger audience.  I am inspired to do more.  The internet is a wonderful tool for establishing a face for yourself.

Hungry-free write exercise

I am really hungry right now, it doesn't help that is 7:11 and that makes me think of disgustingly good nachos.  The kind where the super salty chips are in a plastic bag, and you have to open it to put them in the little cardboard boat that is always just a little too small.  And, like, when you open the bag, it always rips unevenly, and chip dust and salt spray you in the eyes.  Always with the eyes!  and you break chips doing it, and some fall, and you have to maneuver the bag over the basket, and quickly dump them in, hoping they all stay.  I am sure there are those who will have a small skissors on them, like in a Swiss Army Knife, and they will simply cut the bag open width-wise allowing them to artfully pour the contents into the basket, with no eye salt bath.  I need a Swiss Army Knife.  I don't need the gas station nachos.  Back to the nachos.  You then get to pump out as much nasty cheese as you want.  I always try to get every chip because the nachos are so bad they are good, all that salt tricks you into eating more, and who doesn't love crunchy with melty "cheese" on it.  Lest we forget, there is one more thing that makes these nachos the bomb diggety--pickled jalapenos.  Not every store has them, in fact I haven't seen one lately.  The movie theater has them, and the fundraising table at my son's school.  I remember the first time I ate one, I grew up in WI and was about 14 and it was the hottest thing I ever ate and I made my sister eat one.  Now, they are pretty mild by AZ pepper standards, all that pickling.  The point is, the nacho mess is better with them, because if you are going to have something that gross, do it up!!! Love it!  I love nasty food, I also love super healthy food, I have two kinds of sprouts in my refrigerator right now.  Nachos.........

Inspirational Inspiration!

I seek my inspiration it the stories of the people I encounter. I have been blessed to meet many types of people following various paths. My ears are always open to listen to them tell their tales. We often become trapped in our own circles, our friend, family, and co-workers become our reference for what people are like, and what life is like. We often forget that there are people out there who are very different from us.

My writing style is often flavored by the voices of the authors I am reading, or the teachers I study with. As my knowledge base and vocabulary row, my words change, and so does my message. I started down a very different path, I wanted to be an actor, or a film maker. I learned all I wanted to about these fields, then thought I would study fitness and nutrition. It was close, but not perfect. Finally I realized I wanted to be a healer. I love people and I decided I wanted to help them lead fuller, happier lives. Psychology was added to my repertoire, and now I study energy healing. When I meet people, I am deeply affected by their journeys.

My inspiration often stays in my head, fermenting, processing the new data. When the time is right, and I have reworked the information over and over again in my mind, it finally bursts onto the page. This is difficult when I am working on a deadline. I find many notebooks with ides I've started and got stuck on. Some are awful, others I store for a later, inspired moment.

Journey to Cleanse

I am in the process of eliminating vices, so I may better and more easily undertake the 7 day Pancha Karma cleanse as described by Ayurvedic teachings.  This is not a fat, as I will eat beans and rice seasoned with Ayurvedic Dosha balancing/Prana restoring herbs and teas.  However, my human vices are many at this moment. 

Instead of going "cold turkey" I am weaning myself from one per week, fast food was last week (the easiest one, as I only eat it 1 or 2 times a month), this week I am tackling coffee.  I purchased dandelion tea, it was on sale and tastes a lot like coffee.  This morning, I brewed a small pot of half coffee/half tea, it's really good!  3 weeks to cleanse.  I am really excited to try this challenge and restore balance to my body.  Years of parties, and remnants of chemo/radiation still linger in my tissue.  I have finally come to a point in my life where I am really ready to let go of my crutches, and walk in light.  I encourage you to look at the things that have become habits, and decide for yourself if they still honor you.  I have a few that will be more difficult, but after practicing with the easy ones, I hope to gain strength slowly and steadily and naturally, until the thought of escaping seems unnatural compared to facing emotions and daily occurrences head on.

I go forward in love and peace, leaving fear behind.  Blessed be!

Remote Control Confessions-Creative Writing

I am the most loved item in the house.  The man loves me most, more than almost any other object on this table.  I have only been here about 2 years, less time than the little dude that kind of looks like me, he's small and not used very often.  If you ask him, he'll tell you how he used to be popular, back before they got "cable" and "satellite TV".  Yeah, he was the cat's meow back then, his counterpart could play DVDs and VHS tapes.  I once asked him what a VHS tape was, he said he could barely remember, and his buddy was usually just eating DVDs and spitting them out. 

I came here in a box, I was so young and new, so shiny and smooth, I had no idea what I was in for.  From the minute the man is home until after he's nodded off a few times, I am in his hand, or at a place of honor at his side, easy to access.  Without me, he wouldn't be able to change the channel, or see what was on all of his stations.  I am his magic wand, when he holds me he has ultimate control of the boxes.  The box I talk to, and the big flat one with the pictures.  I like to believe I make the pictures, but I know it's really the Big Guy somewhere out there beaming them to my buddy who tells the TV what to show.  I tell the Big Guy, though, I am important. 

The worst part about my job is the wear and tear on me.  When a battery is low, I get slapped and smacked in the man's attempt to get a little more juice out of Mr. and Mrs. AAA-of-the-moment.  When that doesn't work, it's rip off my backside and spin the batteries, and eventually, the transplant.  I gotta say, I feel great when I get new juice.

I do feel a little embarrassed by how dirty I am.  The man works on cars, and drinks soda, a deadly combo od blackness on my buttons and he doesn't care.  The boy doesn't either, in fact, I've seen the guy who works his room, and I look like a baby pageant queen in comparison.  I wish the woman would clean me more often.  It's so nice, she takes out the batteries so it's just me and her.  Then she cleans my body, even the cracks, and the buttons, oh how I love it when she cleans the buttons!  I look new again, if only for a day or two. 

If I had any advice to give, it would be this:  Use that little red power button more often, and shut off the flat faced TV.  Look at your family, maybe dig out a board game.  If it makes you feel more comfortable, I'll sit next to you and watch.  Ha, that'll be a switch!  The TV and remote watching humans do stuff, what a world!

Bio-Who am I

Jo Anna Larson has always been passionate about good food, and eating it.  A regular at all of the diners in her home town of Oak Creek, Jo Anna's love of food was soon joined by the insanity of body dismorphic disorder in her teens.  Marriage, a wee baby and a bought with Leukemia came and went, and with those challenges she became stronger, but it was not until she was 38 that she finally, and fully loved and accepted her body.

She thought about all of the abusive actions and language she used and realized much of her sadness and illness came from a lack of self love and acceptance.  Healing isn't easy, but she did it.  She not only healed her heart, but soon after her body followed. 

Jo Anna combines energy healing, guided meditation and proper nutrition (disguised as delicious food) in a way that makes it easy and fun to get to know the authentic you and introduce them to the world!  It is her mission to spread the message of self-love  to anyone who is ready for the journey.

She has studied psychology and nutrition both formally and informally for over 20 years, and is attending the Southwest Institute of Healing Arts in order to add Cranial Unwinding, Reiki, Ayurvedic Techniques, and Yoga to her tool kit. 

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